An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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