you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So many bounce houses so little time
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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