The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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