The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Operation Purity has been aborted
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
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