winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
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First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
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making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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