i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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