The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
