never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
