I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
