I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
