Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
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The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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