I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize