the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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