Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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