Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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