guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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