Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
