Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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