I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
