So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
