ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
