dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i would punch a child for taco bell
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
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Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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