Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
