So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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