I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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