I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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