Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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