My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
