dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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