Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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