Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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