i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
