I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
