it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
this just has baby written all over it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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