He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
