What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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