okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it was like eating out sand paper
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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