Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
