ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
