There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
