you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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