I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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