I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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