His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
