THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
