if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
