After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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