okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize