Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
