I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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