so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
