He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
