i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
