I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
