The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
