She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
