Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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