Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
