the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm always down for nudity.
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