He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
