Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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