it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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